Never meant to be

This pain of longing and never having,
a torment that is never ending,
when thoughts of suicide and hanging,

start to play inside my head...

You'll never be there when I fall,
you never pick up when I call,
but still you're there, standing tall,

and I'd rather not feel anything at all...

Cause I always thought that you'll be there,
until I realized you don't care,
If this feeling isn't something we share,

I'd rather be left alone...

The Journey of a Thousand Miles

begins by getting your lazy ass off that chair and away from your computer screen.

Hello, long time no see.
Missed me? Hopefully not...

Anyway, Form 4 life is more stressful than I thought it would be.
I'm not even past the 1st chapter and I Hate Add Maths already. I should probably get tuition for that.

Also, I'm champion for MSSD (Chess) yet again. 3 years and counting.
Hoping to play chess for Perak again this year (which would make it 5 years of dedicated service to the state)

And the reason I haven't been updating my blog or answering your emails is because my laptop crashed and I was without internet for a whole bloody WEEK!!!

Met my last ex girlfriend recently - She's not talking to me anymore
Haven't met my crush in ages - She's not talking to me either

What else happened? Oh yeah...

I spent my birthday at my uncle's bar, drinking and dancing. A kid couldn't ask for more. Got a decent number of birthday wishes. I love my friends

Awww (loser)
-Mark-

We are Divided

I ended up in class 4sc6, also known as the Sixer Army. This class has it's own legacy in SMI for producing gangsters and other notorious individuals.
As a result, we have 2 discipline masters are teaching Physics and Sejarah respectively.
None of the hot teachers are teaching us either.

Sucks to be in 4sc6

It seems that I have been separated from most of my friends. I'll just have to make new ones.
But on the bright side, this class is the perfect base of operations for me, with plenty of soldiers to fuel my new army.

The takeover begins

*Evil laugh*
-Mark-

The Burning Light

The first week of school has been disappointing...

So far, all I've done includes listening to deadpan speeches, playing Truth or Dare(no one takes the 'Dare' option anymore), silently insulting the teachers and (hilariously) listening to the teachers insult one another*

Also, I'll be applying for prefectship tomorrow. Wish me luck. The prospect of having to explain myself in front of an EXCO board doesn't exactly make me all warm and fuzzy inside.

(They're not too bad actually...so far)

*Refers to the incident in which Mr. Rajan announced in front of the whole Form 4 student body of how SMI's teachers are damn (f)ugly and how he feels like vomiting at the very sight of them

(May have stretched the facts a little)

-Mark-

Yesterday and Today

Went to the International Youth Carnival and Rally yesterday evening. It actually turned out to be quite fun, apart from the rather obvious (to me, anyway) and painful feelings of heartbreak every time I see her.

I didn't stay for the rally though. Left at 7:30 p.m

Today, I went to church's first Youth fellowship of the year 2009. Pleasant enough, until it started to rain. Also, it turns out that I'm hardly the only person who can play 'River flows in You' by Yiruma

The fact that school begins tomorrow does not help my state of mind. Currently, I am downright angry and depressed and seriously NOT looking forward to the new year.

I'm probably gonna have to go for tuition next year. My PMR results doesn't exactly inspire much confidence in my academics

-Mark-

Fallen

It's 1:12 in the morning...

Went for a barbecue last night at church.
As usual, I slept through the entire afternoon and woke up late.
Then stumbled into church and didn't really wake up till the food was ready.

Had marshmallows with honey and butter...and 2 chicken wings which was probably undercooked. Lots of sausages and a lone potato

The days go by so fast now...

Just got my PMR results - 5 A's 2 B's (for BM and Geography)

Which is quite satisfactory since I only studied for about a week+ and played chess most of the time (I even went to a tournament the day before PMR)

Still, hoping to get into the Science stream. Maybe I'll take IT or Accounting.

My future is unclear
-Mark-

Stand alone

Christmas day was spent alone and bored.

Last night, I went to my church for the Christmas service. It was then confirmed that after the Youth Camp(which I did not attend)...that everyone has already forgotten about me.

But who cares right?

Anyway, holidays are coming to an end. Haven't really achieved what I wanted to...but I'm not really complaining. Just sad.

Screw new year resolutions, I'm not in the mood anymore.

*Total number of presents this year = 2

Merry Christmas
-Mark-

Party like a Rockstar

Two nights ago, while I was still in KL, I went Waikiki Bar, which is actually owned by my uncle. So I got free drinks and food on the house. The place was really cool. I mean, there was a live band, cute girls and everything(Christmas decorations?).

Thanks to my dad and uncle, I got drunk for the very first time. I'm probably still under the influence right now...

So, anyway...
I was seated with my dad, my uncle and his wife, together with the coolest guys and the hottest girls in the club.

The live band performance was something else. The lead singer was excellent - damn good voice, high entertainment value, 7 ear rings and he has grandchildren

...

WHAT?!

Anyway, anyway,
in the band, there were also 2 guitarists who were formally with the Alleycats(Malaysian rock band - way, way before my time)

I had around 4 beers. And somehow managed to keep my presence of mind.

So, halfway through, everyone started dancing(including my dad - how embarrassing). There was this super tall, super hot, Russian supermodel seating next to me. After talking with her for a while - which I would never have done if I was sober - she leaned forward and asked me: Are you drunk yet?

I was still a little shy so I told her I wasn't. And I suddenly realized that I would probably never have the chance to dance with someone like her during my teenage years again. So I pulled every ounce of Dutch courage I could, and said: Actually... Yeah, I am drunk. Do you wanna dance?

She said yes

(Note: Dutch courage means false bravery instilled by alcohol)

I have never danced before. So I probably didn't manage to impress her too much in that department. She, on the other hand, was a natural dancer(trained or untrained...I'm not sure)

I should also mention that she has a boyfriend already, who is totally cool and didn't mind me hitting on her.

Her name was Anna

Also, made another friend. She wouldn't tell me her real name, cause all her friends call her 'Ika'. I hear she was voted one of the Top 20 most glamorous women in Malaysia by GLAM magazine.

I should go out more often
-Mark-

The Return

Hey all, I've just finished playing my last chess competition for the year 2008. Still in KL now. May blog about what I've been doing this past month if I feel up to it.

Merry Christmas
-Mark-

Cultural revolution

From my personal(and rather limited) point of view...Friendster is dying a slow, agonizing death. Too many problems with the system, too little stuff to do...

So,
I made a FACEBOOK account, which is like, so much more 'happening'

*Happening - a good descriptive word I picked up at Youth Camp many years ago. Refers to a person, place or event that is considered popular by teenagers(No one cares what old people think)

Also see:

*Punked - another word I learned at Youth Camp to describe a situation in which you were totally fooled, cheated, played out, taken in, conned or suckered by a more intelligent person than yourself

"You got PUNKED!!!"

I probably most of that stuff up...I'm bored. So sue me.

Speaking of Youth Camp, I am guaranteed NOT going this December
(Woe is me)
Hope they have a splendid time...saw the promo video, looks awesome

-Mark-

Hito Tsuki Mushi

Translation
*Human punches insect

I just passed my aikido grading, promoting me to 5th Kyu
(On my way to ninja mastery)

Gambateh
-Mark-

Return to the kingdom

Hello blog...long time no see.
Sorry I haven't been able to post on you for quite some time, cause I've been away in KL

Miss me?

*First sign of madness - talking to your blog*

Anyway, I went down for 2 chess tournaments(UIA and UITM), in which I only got an average score...and nearly lost my handphone in the process

-ate sushi and pizza for the first time in months

I would not be able to survive a single day as a vegetarian...thought you people might want to know

ANYWAY, I'll be going to KL again next month for the National Juniors and KL open

*boredom kills*

ALSO, got a 'date' this Thursday...maybe my life isn't a total waste after all.

Apart from that, my social life is still as dull as the Wall Street Journal(which is, contrary to popular belief...not that boring)

-Mark-

A shadow on glass

When does the school term end anyway?
I would at least like to know when my holidays officially begin

But that doesn't matter, cause I don't go to school anymore
I'm staying right here at home, playing chess, writing piano songs and messing around with my webcam(lol)

Been having weird dreams lately, which I do not care on elaborating on...

Anyhow, still haven't been to MYF in a long, long time...
I wonder how they're doing without me

Haven't been in the mood for SMSing either...maybe I'm clinically depressed
I should go out more often

Are you still there?
Wow! you must be really bored if you're still reading this

Your torment ends here
-Mark-

Daemon King

Just won the Michaelian Close chess tournament. Got 5/5 points

Apart from that, today was kinda boring(as usual)
It seems I've been banned from playing the school piano for some reason known only to God and MISS Corrine Mah

Spent the whole day talking. And talking. And talking.
My brain cells have been reduced by 20% since PMR(which is not a bad thing...since I hardly use them)

Also, looks like I won't be going for Youth until sometime next year(...)
Youth camp doesn't look like a possibilty for me either

I hate my life...long live me

-Mark-

Dream of red Emeralds

NEW FAVOURITE SONG: I kissed(a girl)by Katy Pery

which is strange, cause I usually dislike songs of this genre. Anyhow, she managed to look incredibly sexy in her video...even though I don't think she's particularly pretty

Does that make me shallow?

...

Yeah

Besides that, I'll be going to Chess tournaments this whole month AND next month...which means NO Youth Fellowship, NO Youth Camp and NO going out for a movie with my favourite girl(you know who you are...lawl)

-Mark-

Carnivale du Freake

Went to the Main Convent carnival today. It turned out to be some kind of a pesta pelancongan thingy which was kinda lame. Anyway, I arrived at midday and stayed on for the next 5 hours so I could see a friend's performance playing for SMC's TradiMode

Having said that, I must admit that it was kinda fun. I met alot of friends that I haven't seen in a while like Vilaiwan, Peiqi, Sue Jean, Paveena and Yen Fong. Most of my time there was spent with either Yen Fong or Jane and the Form 4 group. I even managed to get a free meal from the SMC Rangers(you girls rock)

Apart from that:

-Vilaiwan dared me to try the flying fox...in the end I didn't do it, because I found that being tied up and thrown out a window was disgraceful...NOT because I have a fear of heights

-I held a handful of worms for 10 seconds and got 3 sweets. Also, I adopted one of the worms(true story) but didn't manage to name it cause Yen Fong hates worms and Paveena was hungry(she had already eaten a worm before I got there)...so I disowned the worm and returned it to the stall

-I found out that Peiqi is actually really shy in real life...

-All my guy friends either went home or to Parade, leaving me alone with the girls, which could have been a good thing

-Thomas Liew can't beat me in arm wrestling(HAHAHA)...but I can't win either

-TradiMode seriously rocks! Loving their music. My friend did really well, even though she told me she was kinda(very?)nervous. Didn't get to talk to her very much though...

-New friends made: Eva, Tracy, Stephanie Wang, Vivian Cheah and a few others whose names I never got

-Finally, I got thrown out by the security guard cause I was sitting in her chair with my legs crossed(another true story). To avoid confrontation, I left and waited for my dad under the hot sun(I have a slight tan...bye bye emo vampire look)

It could have been worse
-Mark-

Life of the Tin man

(looking for missing heart)

I'm bored...did I really need to post about THAT?!

Anyway, my favourite girl is going off on some school field trip, leaving me by my lonesome

Is there really anything else to say?

-Mark-

Screaming bloody murder

*Currently suffering from severe post-PMR syndrome*

Everything looks boring nowadays

*poke poke*

-Me and my friends made all these plans for after PMR, but now we're all too lazy to do any of it

-Went to a semi-National tournament. Played in the open category - got 4 1/2 points over 7

-Played DotA properly at a Cyber cafe for the first time(usually I get slaughtered). Even got to pwn Nagenderan a few times with bloody Goblin Techies(what an idiot)

Anyway, there's some carnival at Main Convent, a chance for me to revive my social life. Like they say...never miss an opportunity

-Mark-

Occupation and Release

OK, I just made it through my PMR alive...after 3 years of worrying about it
But I don't think I got 7 A's

Not many social plans for the holidays, may be going to KL for some competitions(chess) and that's about it.

Sad...
-Mark-

That sinking feeling

is what you get when you know you're not ready for your exams
Say your prayers...PMR is coming soon

Also,
I wanna wish all my Form 3 friends the best of luck(either in answering the questions or not getting caught cheating)

Peace to you
-Mark-